Crocker's Audition?

Mr. Crocker awoke from his little nap. The effects of the sleep gas had worn off early. Blinking, he sat up and scratched his head.

"That's odd," he remarked, "I can't seem to remember what I was doing before taking this oddly-timed nap on a hard concrete floor." He struggled to recall the events previous to his slumber.

"Let's see…" he backtracked, "There was a can…soup…oh yes, that sleepy soup. But before that…aha! My portal!"

Smiling, he turned to his star-shaped portal that still spun away in its place, a pink colored vortex in the center. Crocker leapt excitedly to his feet, and, wringing his hands, approached the machine.

"Now, to at last test my new device: A portal that will take me directly to Fairy World!" He cackled evilly. He then leapt through the portal.

Meanwhile, the Fairy Idol contest was in full swing. The elimination rounds were in process, and the contestants were many. Some fairy had just finished a song and was grinning and waving to his fans as he left the stage. The judges gave their comments.

"I don't know," sighed Blonda, "He's just not what we're looking for, I think. So bland…"

"I agree, no style!" nodded Simon Sparklefield, swishing a hand through the air, "I mean if we wanted someone that boring we would've gone with the pixie!"

From the audience, H.P. commented, "Hey, we resent that. That guy's got nothing on us." His underlings blandly shouted agreements. Their magic sign spelled 'Sanderson Rocks!'

"Ooookeeyyyy," Simon diverted answering, "So Binky, your thoughts..!"

Binky Abdul, the last judge, struggled to come up with a response. "Ummm…" he said, "His…hair was good?"

Blonda and Simon exchanged looks before Simon announced, "Alrighty then, he's out!"

"Ok! Better luck next time, Mr. Fairy!" said the announcer, "And now, for our next contestant…"

Crocker poofed into existence on the stage.

"…um, that guy..!" finished the announcer.

Crocker blinked, looking at all of the fairies, pixies, lawn gnomes, and other assorted magical creatures applauding. But most importantly, fairies..! Crocker jittered, the beginnings of a smile creeping onto his lips. He jerked. He full out spasmed as he shrieked,

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

As he finished shrieking and pointing, he collapsed into a twisted heap on the floor, heaving and overloaded from the excitement.

The judges and audience blinked silently.

Blonda cleared her throat. "Well…" she gave verdict, "It was very original, I'll give him that. And I had no idea you could stand on your own head that way."

"True, that was pretty interesting," input Simon, "But come on, he didn't even bother to write more than two words! He just shrieked the same thing over and over."

"You mean just like The Ramones?" asked Binky.

The three of them thought that over in unison for a moment, and then their faces flattened as they judged Crocker, "No."

"Ooo, tough luck That Guy…" sympathized the announcer, "So long! And thank you for playing Fairy Idol!"

Crocker was poofed off the stage before he could say anything.

In another instant he found himself back in his basement, still twisted.

"What? Noooo!" he cried, "Let me back in there!" He ran at the portal, disappeared through it, and instantly reappeared in the exact same spot with a big 'DENIED' stamp across his forehead. He sighed.

"Oh well," he pouted, and then scolded himself, "So what have we learned from this little escapade, Denzel? Conquering first, screaming later. Now you have to go visit the chiropractor again."

He shuffled for the exit.

"I hate that wise-mouth chiropractor…"